life could be so much more than this
Oct. 24th, 2025 08:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reminiscenciai feel i have wasted so much time. it's not "i'm only eighteen", it's i'm ALREADY eighteen — and what have i done? i don't necessarily mean great, important acts. i just mean i wish i'd done more things that matter to me.
with all that has been given to me by life, my parents, friends, i should be better. i could've been great. in so many senses. i feel selfish and undeserving.
and now i'm almost stepping out of school, getting to the end of this cycle i've made my crooked home for so many years. and i feel like some of those were wasted. not completely, but many times, yes, wasted.
i am aware that drowning in regret won't get me anywhere. all i have is the present and eventually the future. but let me display my embarassment, and most of all, my fear. to show that, hey, i know i failed and i care. the least i can do: admit i was wrong and try
to look
forward.
with all that has been given to me by life, my parents, friends, i should be better. i could've been great. in so many senses. i feel selfish and undeserving.
and now i'm almost stepping out of school, getting to the end of this cycle i've made my crooked home for so many years. and i feel like some of those were wasted. not completely, but many times, yes, wasted.
i am aware that drowning in regret won't get me anywhere. all i have is the present and eventually the future. but let me display my embarassment, and most of all, my fear. to show that, hey, i know i failed and i care. the least i can do: admit i was wrong and try
to look
forward.
